back at it again with the meta commentary, Garfield

saw two people tryna put a fridge in a prius

good luck

when I get my own house

I will do what my brother did long time ago. the paper products for recycling? don't recycle it by just tossing it in the bin. burn it! do a burn pit. the fire is fun (just have the safety precautions in place) 

my lucky number today is 5

I gotta get a $5 scratch ticket because of this!! 

song was shuffled and it's actually 5 pm

Givin' Up the COW

    The scales of consciousness can quantify states of consciousness based not on emotion but by level of activity. Transcendence exists at or can be present at any level of consciousness. Enlightenment however is usually meant for higher levels. The mood, the vibe, has changed. I believe it's that I have spent more time or less in transitory phases? Liminal refers to positions on boundaries or in a state of transition. So why is it when I leave my car to go hike, explore, suddenly I can tell a shift in consciousness? It becomes more pensive. Where am I at on the scales? Am I moving away from the COW? Because once I've been out absorbing my surroundings, this is when I am aware of the newly obtained state of consciousness. What will be a good name for it? A plane.

    Does the plane change upon changes to space and time? Are there more factors than space or time? What, for a fact, constitutes the outside? Everything we perceive which includes space and time, but there are other things that are a part of that list. Anyway, changes in space or time (perception) affects your plane. It is only recently, I suppose, that I became more sensitive to planes. Imagine it like a sun and cloud. You are in the light. The cloud moves and blocks the light. Your perception changes and you are aware it will change again. Then of course it happens. You expect it to.

    So once I open that car door, the plane change has already taken place. It is not until we have stopped moving do we feel certain of our minds and can judge accurately how we feel, but... how does feeling work in all of this anyway? Is feeling separate from perception? Perception is an unconscious or conscious thing. It exists in either state. Feeling is purely conscious. Can you feel what you do not perceive? Then I guess, yes, you can only feel what you perceive. Does the scale measure that?

    I say "activity," but activity of what? Thought, feeling, or perception? I guess all of those are activities, yet, also not, since some function without activity (unconscious functions). Let's say it measures perception. Zero is death. There is no perception. Maybe it is all perception. Same with 10. It is modulo 11 so it wraps around circularly. Ego death, rebirth, death, oblivion, heaven, hell, afterlife, exists in the cusp. 5 is COW: Consciousness at Ordinary Wakefulness. You are not aware you are thinking. You are living in no particular plane so much as you are in the most natural one. A sober mind. Nature already picked it as the most efficient state, because it best reflects survival.

    Transcendence can be downward, going down the scale or going up. Enlightenment is a realization of an Ultimate Reality and makes up higher echelons. So the scale is more similar to being purely fluid and circular. Or it is consciousness soup, with every number 0-10 of the scale possible at any moment.  

huh wow, never thought of how true it is

The Neutral Ending

I remember this song fondly. It reminds me of Connecticut. That was a time when I was in a place I could properly call a home. My most fond memories. The events of my life who made me who I am. It moves me and brings me to tears because as I picture in my head driving through all of the places I used to be, all of the locations I've passed countless times, I think: I will have this again.

I want another Connecticut. A place where I get to lay down my roots and start a home again. A place where I will stay for a long time. A place that will shape who I am for the better. And when I'm done here, in this wretched place, I will have my life back. It will be the single most rewarding time of my life when I am gone from the place that hard taken so much from me (yet has given me much as well). 

I will get to experience this sensation with the one I love most. My life will dramatically change and look nothing like it used to. I will cry. I will smile. I will be greater than anything I ever have been. I will take my life back. And that will know I am being alive in the greatest life I could ever have.

I gotta like a comic with no dialogue

On the Sportified State of [-----]

    One could be particularly intrigued by the state of [-----] and its greatest catalyst, the internet, feeding off the perceived consequences, effects, dramatics, and spectacular volume of discourse. [-----] has so frequently shown itself to be mixed and divisive, that it has all but become a sports game of gratuitous chaos. You can see the [-----] like WWE wrestlers: staged entertainment, as we cheer for the Great Objective of our chosen participant and denounce the savage, vile, and reprehensible being that is the opponent.

    Compare [-----] and sports. [-----] figures are marketed like athletes. They have fanbases, with loyal supporters, and opponents that are demonized. Media plays the part of amping the hype, creating narratives, keeping people invested. We cheer for the team or athlete we support and do not consider the broader context, ignoring the complexity of certain actions/thoughts. 

    The focus changes from the actual game or governance to the spectacle: the drama, controversy, and personalities involved. As with sports, there is a sense of detachment from real-world impact. A fan can care deeply for their team's win or loss, but rarely are long-term implications considered, yet with [-----], the consequences are real and change lives. For two participants, the opposing belligerents in the sportified game of [-----], their followers can get wrapped up in the drama of the moment and the clash of ideologies.

    Take two individuals. One fears, the Other does not. Sometimes, it's difficult to for One and Other to find peace or perspective in that misalignment, when uncertainty, powerlessness, and nervousness prevents bridging the gap. For One, they regularly play out the worst-cast scenarios and get trapped in a loop of "what ifs," whereas the Other feels they've become complacent and stooped to lower standards of being.

    Would the Other call their own thinking "a different way of coping?" Having learned to navigate the uncertainty by stepping back and creating distance from it and the things that individual can control in their immediate world? Yet would One hope that by worrying, they can make sense of it or prepare for the worst?

    The two individuals and [-----] are tough to reconcile, when the emotions for all are charged. How they process the chaos can make communication difficult since fear can cloud judgment and detachment can be indifference. There will be a way to find common ground. Acknowledge fear, and create a space where both the two are safe, understood, and supported. It's all about balance.

when you snipe their parking spot