yes, in fact,

it IS a good idea. every time I come around, it all seems... the same. and pretty soon, I'll have something else to think about instead. yes. it makes sense. Great idea!! BYE

long lasting deodorant!

funny to think I actually marked with sharpie on my 2 pack of right guard clear gel deodorant when I bought them. ONE of them got used up. lasted me since 4/29, that's just a little less than 5 months!! 

You Are In Fact the Noise

As I listen to these sounds

Hear your voices too join

Seemed to come together then

Joined to part of the noise

And you become but notes and movements and fluid sound

To be nothing more than an instrument

Whose sounds are shapeless and unrecognizable forms

But exist in deliberate tandems

So be just a spectator to sound

Real real spectator

As with all, eventually, "disentertained" by your orchestra

Too with no enamor to odd presence

Eliminated your faculties in this thin box

Orchestra plays on no attendance

Yet strode out to nearest farthest reach on but a feeling

Forecast to say:

Walk 23 blind paces forward

Walk 23 blind paces back

Open your eyes

Seeing everything in the dark

Say not say

Beautiful your lips shall be turned

Not walked past the company's last ashed-over firewood

And if one passes you

"Salutations."

Walk.

im not in love

But I'm💥not💥in 💥love

What does it take to 💥fall 💥in💥love

Do people really 💥fall💥in💥love

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

WHUP

women

 

haha nah girl i just want to hang out. we are not doing that

thanks netflix

 

got some problem with extra member slot preventing me from seeing netflix--the extra member declined the invitation and the system continuously locked me out so i guess i had to talk to customer sevice

thank you jhuvluvynvyvnl. 

Active listening

it may be so extremely taxing to do active listening. this occurs when I do not disclose much about my day, how I am doing, or what I am doing, instead asking questions and giving full and undivided attention to the other party by putting them in the limelight.

it is difficult. we enjoy reciprocity, but the reason why this whole thing is hard is because the dialogues I DO engage in most frequently is dialogues with myself. internal dialogue, and self-revealing speech in which I am effectively talking to myself. but therein lies the problem when another person is present—I am not talking to myself, I am supposed to be talking to another person. thus, it needs a different approach.

I am very used to speaking about myself and my interests, but I must suppress a need to express or be understood if it means conducting active listening. changing communication patterns can be exhausting. not seeking validation, support, or connection, because you're choosing to GIVE it to someone else instead. it makes me look bad then that I'm not a good active listener. it could mean I regularly, frequently, seek validation/support/connection.

how I present myself and share my experiences is a huge part of my identity, but not doing so because I'm using active listening, is taxing. 

so at what time I can share things about myself,to balance things into reciprocity, reduce the chance of someone feeling the communication is one-sided (or me being secretive).... it is hard. I'll just have to keep ingrained why I'm doing this and seeing my discomfort is in fact real and normal.

I mean, it is... it should be.... right? 

Libel

He's fortunate to have lost his mouth

For once torn the very inward words

Clock ran just for her

Forcing habitual suppressions down

He retained something, but what

Here is the solution

"But enough about me,"

A Professional Deal

     Wanted to combine a mod in Left 4 Dead 2 that replaces all the L4D2 crew with characters from Animal Crossing. Wanted to do it instead with all of them being Niko from OneShot. Tried modding it myself, but couldn't figure it out. Solution? Pay someone.

    Went to Checkpoint, a site for commissions, found this gentleman named Mage, a game dev with experience in Source. Offer was $10 to do this. Reached out, spoke a deal, and he got to work.

    It was not long before I got to see how much of a professional this person is. Regularly gave updates, screenshots, and information about the work. Here's a handful.

    Very knowledgeable person, told me about the dozen or so fixes made to the original model from MSF, the creator. Some clipping, viewmodels, shaders, drawcells, VMTs, etc. Always consulted me if I wanted to make an optional change or not, and did not charge for them except for one significant and optional overhaul which I declined. Whatever he struggled with too, he reached out to others for  assistance. 

    So not only did I get what I had initially thought I'd get--just four Nikos--but Mage cleaned up the model, provided the model standalone as well, and created the mod for both the L4D1 and L4D2 cast. I could not be more satisfied with the courtesy and professionalism of this individual, and his expertise surpasses his reputation. For his exceptional service, I chose to pay out twice the initial price.

    Now it's time for the Niko-pocalypse!