Happiness

    Asking if I am happy is a quite complex question. If you were to ask me right now on the spot, my answer would be no. Yet, when I think, that answer also does not seem to be true. So then, yes, I am happy. But neither is that true. The answer lies somewhere in between. I am happy in some respects and not in some other ones.

    Happiness is different in different areas. Mental, social, emotional, romantic. My happiness is horrible for some, yet great for others. I feel like I am still trying to figure out what I'm happy about. I think it is the future. I have it secured so tightly and I can see a very rewarding and fulfilling future not too far from now. It'll only take a few years and I'm certain I will say that, yes, I am happy in every regard. My career is so strong, that I would be damned to settle for anything less than what I dreamed for. To finally reap the fruits of my labor.

    Waiting for the big payoff. I'm certain that what I want most right now is to just be with my partner. When that happens, it will not matter where I am or what I'm doing. But I would love to be somewhere where the sun will always be shining. No overcast or rain forever. No cold.  Maybe I'll go live in the desert.

    How to be happy is a problem too difficult to find an answer to. Maybe boredom is contributing to that. When you keep busy, keep preoccupied, there is no time to let your emotions creep.