Re: Memoirs

     There is some phenomenon that keeps occurring. There was a time I had went hiking nearby in I believe April of last year. Partly cloudy, sunset, perfect temperature. Drizzling, somewhat. I had been reflecting, thinking in deep thought internally. I was not sad or upset or angry, but I had been pondering. As the sun set, one of the brightest rainbows I had ever seen appeared behind me. The weather aligned with my emotions in some way. It had revived and rejuvenated my moods when I experienced this sunset-rainbow phenomenon.

    It happened again I think two months later. Sunset. Go for a walk outside. I felt down--this time it was melancholic, how I felt. I sat on some barrier about 5 minutes away and cried. Drizzling again. I turn around to go back home when... rainbow again. It felt dramatic. I literally ran back home to get my polaroid and I took a photo of it.

   When it happened, it did not feel like a coincidence. It felt like a sign, an omen. I had become emotional or deep in thought, and during sunset, good temperature, and light rain, then a rainbow. The closest thing I could call this is an act of God. I don't believe in God, but something about this made it feel like the only appropriate term.

    It happened a third time this past December, at work. Burnt out, feeling blue, need some air, go outside. Partly cloudy, had rained, only 2 hours until sunset, but there, rainbow. I am even more certain now it was God.

    Fourth time was today (Memoir III). I had wanted to go for a bike ride and have a cigarette and go out before the sun set, so I went to a nature trail down the street. It was a deep melancholy mood, walking in the rain at the river. It was raining heavily and I had my umbrella. Sepia and brown, the color palette of the sky and water and clouds. Rain, sunset, rainbow. I had turned around and gasped at the sight. It happened yet again. The rainbow quickly vanished afterwards.

    What's the connection between all of these events? My emotions are tied very heavily to the weather. Bad weather, bad mood. Sunshine, good mood. Windy, good mood too. I wanted to be a meteorologist too, when I was a kid. There's a link between me and climate. The elements. Fire too is cool to look or fuck around with, I guess? How often I write about clouds and the sky and light, and how often all I need is sunlight to feel better, and even now that I want to move to the desert to get more of it. That's all this can be about...