Once the PT was done I set to it, going up and down the main street on base for about 15 minutes before I bumped into my commander outside a shop. We stopped and chatted. Friendly guy, quite down to earth. He was there with the chief.
The commander asked me what flag I carried last time (I bumped into him about a week ago as I rucked near my neighborhood too), which was the CT flag. I told him I use the flags to make exercise a little less boring. I never really liked exercising so why not make it enjoyable and send a message at the same time? I said too that this climate I am well-informed about--I understand my heat tolerance and I know to take rest periods as often as needed and to hydrate. But that was not the topic we went into after.
My commander found me carrying the flag to be a conflict of interest because he believed I ought to be remembered for "being a kickass airman." He gave me all due respect for everything, the rucking, my performance, my guts and my identity, but he claimed "this"--as he points my pride flag--is not what I should be remembered for.
I respectfully disagreed. I said I do understand the two identities can create a conflict of interest, no less the fact I am in the morale uniform. (Might be different if I was in civilian attire like an ordinary graphic tee and shorts.) My position was "OK, I understand." I did stand firm, however, that the flag is in fact that important to me. Actually, yes, being gay is something I would like to be remembered for, in addition to everything else. The LGBT community is a heavy minority in the military, especially, with don't-ask-don't-tell having been a rule a very very long time ago. This is who I am. This is part of me, and while I would like to be remembered as a kickass airman, my sexual orientation is just as (if not more) important. I also remarked that I did appear in the base's newspaper two summers ago for pride month, while I was part of the base's diversity and inclusion committee.
Neither the commander nor the chief found it to be distasteful that I was rucking with a pride flag in my morale uniform. Instead their reactions seemed to be more akin to a polite "just be aware/just saying" like:
In the military, you must respect authority. You have to do as your superiors say. As much as I would have preferred to say, "No, sorry," I knew I could not. I didn't want to either, though I would have, if I weren't given due respect. I don't think I'd want to die on that hill either. Usually the best way to settle a disagreement is to shrug, agree to disagree, and move on without escalation. So I asked my commander and chief if there were anything I should keep in mind going forward. This interaction was a positive and respectful disagreement that left me afterwards with:
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