Nah dude go away

nah not this time

get the hell outta here bro

The Wrens - Happy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JubQi-4fCs

You're the one that I want

You're a chance to take

You're a hard break

And swore you'd never leave again

You're the only one

That I ever trusted

Or who ever cared at all

Is this how it's going to be?

Is this how you wanted me?

Broken down again

It's almost over now

Is this why you wanted me?

To watch as you walk away

You kept on killing me

And you don't even want to touch me

I was wrong

I've wasted on

Can't figure out

What happened to us

I won't count

On you anymore

I'll be alright

Don't worry about me

Aren't you happy now?

Got what you want

I wanted you

But I'm over that now

I'm so sick of you

What we went through

Your lies to me

Won't win again

So don't kid yourself

It's better this way

It's all back to me

Academic Participation

 It is an audio excerpt 30 minutes long. I may not look excited as I am listening, nor would it look like I am having fun, but that is not the point. For some, it is. Having something exciting and having fun playing the game can make or break it. But I see I am experiencing it in a different capacity. I am taking it seriously.

   It is as if I am giving it academic study. One might view this as being in poor spirit, the wrong way of experience, or something similar. However, I chose to be here. I am participating for a reason, no? It is to learn and understand. This game--you have fun, you enjoy it, and you share it with others. I hear you laughing when you play it. That much is an opportunity for me to learn and understand. If I weren't interested, I wouldn't be asking, now would I?

    The banter reminds me of how infrequently I do the same banter with others when it comes to groups. Perhaps for me that's just an indicator that I'm only a serious person in groups. But some could think I'm not having fun. I don't have to--it's not a requirement, is it? Lack of fun does not necessarily mean boredom, does it? What are the lines between fun, serious, and not fun, anyway? I digress.

    But after listening to the excerpt in full, it seems to make sense now what my approach is. Now it would be a bad one if I did not learn, did not understand, or--god forbid--outright rejected the experience. So long as I'm putting in the time, effort, and energy to take part in something another person enjoys or loves, then what's to blame?

Choke

Viciously quaint down upon his tissue

Crack'd a whip to quell

"Humbled be thy mind" 

From days past the lips had said

Let him not perform a revolution

For his sake, how foul his ego lay

Yet for the other, O beloved soul

Be blessed to destroy him

So beautiful when you spit acid

Otherwise trained to ego-dissolving

Yes, when the lips part again

You have found a gravity

get free wifi anywhere you go

I'm pretty sure I owe 4-6 months of backpay to my roommate for my half of the internet bill but he never asked and never mentioned it at all so!! 

Bounty

Every is a sickened object

Done for justice vengeant

In receiver's eye a gem

For he an ashen tar

And toss far that thing

All touched a faces gleam

Know not a deceiver

Was a mirror turned

Pursuits resumes

My hill of false banquets

Perhaps it too shall gleam

For me a facsimile joy

Token

Yet shame it swims

Manifested my wrongs

Upon an eye or two

Called it a facade

Every token is a vacuum

But particles see ilk

Thorned and gilded offerings

How I receive a plagued

Thus route revolve recurs

Shall keep bruises on the neck

Falsified hands trembling

"It is beautiful" 

Huxleyan Metaphysics

    On Monday, I have to give a 15-minute informal presentation to my class of Principles of Instruction. The informal presentation--as opposed to formal presentation--will consist of open discussion and questions between the presenter and the class. Some of the students had difficulty thinking of a subject they would do for their presentation. I thought of my subject quite easily: Huxleyan metaphysics.

   Aldous Huxley is one of my most favorite writers of all time, and he has written much about metaphysics. I am required to ask at minimum 5 questions for the presentation. I have four of Huxley's books, and three of them I will be using to create these questions. The topics are:

1. Understanding vs Knowledge
2. Directional Transcendence and Liberation
3. Mind at Large Theory
4. Mental Antipodes
5. Beauty and Value of Precious Stones and Flora

    Huxley's three books, The Doors of Perception, Moksha, and The Divine Within, will be the materials I'll reference in building context and information for the questions. What are the questions, then?

1. What is the difference between knowledge and understanding?
2. In what ways do you practice transcendence, and in what direction?
3. How do you believe methods of Mind at Large are effective or ineffective?
4. Have you or anyone you know visited a mental antipode? How?
5. What experiences with precious stones or flora would you call beautiful?

    Huxley has written much about metaphysics, and though I don't particularly have the time or interest in elaborating some of the information necessary to answer these questions right now, perhaps I will follow up this post with a more thorough one.

I spy cybertruck

saw a cybertruck for the first time. God, it's more garish in person than I thought. all of it is just novelty. that's the only reason I imagine anyone could have for having such a vehicle. not for function, durability, price, or quality, but rather for visual attraction alone. to make yourself draw attention and feel special for owning... such a eyesore... 

Leather

stiff leather frozen this be

a leaf 

brittlest

crumbl'd to flaked powders

study too flesh 

o chips of bark

gravel falls flatter

call around it a thinking

they go round

an' i sit think 

be a mirror 

may be something special

Variation 5

Best idea be a dissolving

Wished his familiars be burned

This thought ought to choke

How outside they will be shut

Maybe temporal vanishing again

Passive hell for your musings

Or chatter observed downwind

Indeed a cruel and exhausting

And you so remained silent

That day may be as so

Perhaps it sounds better

Sending your wish to hell